1、although you wear some cologne， i can still vaguely smell a scummy whiff out of you.
2、我是天使，回不去天堂是因为体重的原因。
3、never treat a dried shrimp not as seafood.
4、To be sure of hitting the target， shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
5、关于丁字裤：以前，脱下内裤看屁股;现在，拔开屁股看内裤……
6、a. 如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞…
7、it does not hurt feelings， when it comes to money， but it indeed damn cost money when it comes to feelings.
8、"what is the optimists who?" "the teapot is like ............... like red buttocks were burned and he still has feelings whistle!"
9、If sex is a pain in the ass， then you’re doing it wrong…
10、If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes， why do some people have more than one child.
11、我诅咒你一辈子买方便面没有调料包。
12、money is not the problem， the problem is money!
13、有一次我上街，一群女孩把我拦住，她们说我帅。我不承认，她们就打我，还说我虚伪。
14、史上最神秘的部门就是——有关部门。
15、You do not need a parachute to skype. You only need a parachute to skype twice.
16、i lie like a fly in the glass， the future is bright， but can not find a way out.
17、the accountant said : "could you please come for your earnings later， because i have no change here?"
18、喝醉了我谁也不服，我就扶墙!
19、虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我还是能隐约闻到一股人渣味儿。
20、i am an angel， and the reason why i can not go back to heaven is the problem of my weight.
21、a. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的。但是男人**可以整段感情都是装出来的！
22、谈钱不伤感情，但是谈感情最伤钱。
23、"什么叫乐观派的人?""这个...............就像茶壶一样，屁股都烧得红红的，他还有心情吹口哨!"
24、b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
25、It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
26、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
27、we never be afraid that thieves carry their tools， but afraid they know some kind of technology.
28、the most mysterious department in the history is the department concerned.
29、会计说：“你能晚点来领工资么，我这儿没零钱。”
30、who says i am white， thin， beautiful ~ i like his good friend ~
31、Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
32、烧香的不一定是和尚，还可能是熊猫...
33、when i went shopping one day， a group of girls stopped me， saying that i was handsome. but i denied it， and then they hit me and said i am hypocritical.
34、since there are so many deceivers， it is very obvious that idiots are not enough.
35、别人是指哪儿打哪儿，我是打哪儿指哪儿。
36、Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
37、发明“鼠动无声”这词儿的哥们一定没踩上过一只。
38、b. 若XXOO是下体的痛，那么，是你操错。
39、直译：记着，如果你在嘿咻后冒烟了，证明你整得太快了。
40、b. 女人假装高潮以获取真实的感情；男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。
41、假设我们会吃一堑，长一智，为什么总有人生了一个还会生？
42、a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！
43、有些人吹牛说丫能通灵，有些人吹牛说丫有阴阳眼，其他人只是没有这种想象力而已
44、我就像一只趴在玻璃上的苍蝇，前途一片光明，但又找不到出路.
45、burn incense and may not necessarily be a monk， but also may be the panda ...
46、the past， took off his underwear to see buttocks; now， unplug buttocks to see underwear ... ...
47、drunk who has not satisfied me， i will help the wall!
48、站在车库的你并不会变成一辆车是吧？所以站在教堂的你也不会变成基督徒。
49、钱不是问题，问题是没钱!
50、contraceptive effect: not successful， then the adult?
51、谁说我白，瘦，漂亮~我就跟他做好朋友~
52、The early bird might get the worm， but the second mouse gets the cheese.
53、跳楼的时候，“啊——”的时候还没死，“啪！”那才是死了。
54、在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.
55、不怕偷儿带工具，就怕偷儿懂科技。
56、i curse your buying instant noodles without getting flavoring bags.
57、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
58、避孕的效果：不成功，便成人?
59、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
60、骗子太多，傻子的数量明显跟不上了。
61、过了河也别拆桥，没准你还要回来呢。